New Years Resolutions

I did this at the beginning of the school year as well, but these are my 2010 resolutions in no particular order.

1. Get over that boy.
2. Start babysitting.
3. Go to at least 2 concerts. More would be nice, but whatever.
4. Hit every 12:01 to my liking.
5. Write. Write. Write.
6. Get purple streaks in my hair.
7. Finally getting to hang out with Matt again.
8. Audition for a part in a school production.
9. Don't freak out as much as humanly thought possible.
10. Clear up the vast majority of my acne.
11. Purchase the new Evanescence record.
12. Accomplish anything Tool or A Perfect Circle related. Anything!
13. Have the best birthday I've had so far. (Plan ahead, peeps!)
14. Move along from a lot of the things in life that I shouldn't care about anymore. Need I say more?
15. Have an excellent year, despite what may get in my way.

2009 was a crazy year. It was full of ups and downs. I look back on days like when I met Chester, August 9th, the Harry Potter 12:01 show, Thanksgiving and every other important date and realize how much life changed this year. I grew happier as a person in many areas, lost a lot of friends, gained a lot of friends. It was really a roller coaster.

2010 here I come! <3

-M

All, this one's for you.

One year ago today I met one of my best friends on the planet. At the time, I didn't exactly realize I would still be speaking to this person. I assumed that it was just some girl that I would speak to on the LPU every once in awhile. Linkin Park has brought me to so many people in many life, it's not even funny. Allison is probably the most major one though. Other than Chester himself, heh heh. We have been through so much together in the past year. Family drama, LP drama, writing drama, boy drama and everything in between. She still has to listen to me obsess over Chester, lack ideas for my latest piece of writing, freak out over ER and every other stupid thing that I do. Most people don't tolerate all of that baggage, but Allison is always there. She's been there when I'm sitting in my hotel in Memphis after one of the worst days of my life, while I write my newest masterpiece, when I'm blowing off homework and in the late hours of the night just to talk for awhile. Allison is one of my favorite people on the planet, I do not know what I would do without her to stand by me. She is one of the most Mike Shinoda educated people ever, she's witty, sarcastic and plenty of other things I look for in a friend.
I love you, Allison/All/Robin/Darlin <3
-Michelle/Mich/Batman/Darlin

( Extra Long) Foto Friday

I don't care if I post more than 7 photos.


In case you haven't noticed, I have become a huge fan of AFI recently. And I must say, Davey is a handsome man.


No caption is needed.


Damn you, Ryan. Damn you and your stupid hotel in Dallas. Damn you and the fact that I didn't get to be in your presence at any point in time!


Hayley and her awesome hat. But, mine will be better..


See, this hat is total gonna be better when I get it.


I miss my Adam. <3


June 30th, 2010 baby. I'm there.


My favorite picture from Inked, and I don't even know why. His eyes just make me ever so happy.

Arise.

I promised a Foto Friday, but you're not getting one. There are more important issues at hand. My theme of the week is "I thought I could get away from drama for just one week, and than it's handed to me on a silver friggin' platter". I am not a person that handles confrontation well at all. But, I will fight for my loved ones. You do not screw with my sister. You screw with her, you screw with me. That was blunt, I'm sorry. My life has yet again changed a lot, huh? It yet again, is having an affect on everyone. It hurts. I am scared of this person. My anxiety is through the roof. I stopped shaking. I stopped crying. Now what?
Everyone is pretty shattered right now. But, a late night game of Scrabble with Amy and Keith really helps. I don't know what I would do without those two. My Mom needs some serious up lifting, so we might go see This Is It again tonight. If not, I'm spending the night at Andrea's. We all need something to make us better.
Flyleaf has really helped me through some "the-crap-just-hit-the-fan" moments. And I found the new song that really describes life: Arise. So... I think I'm going to leave you all with some song lyrics.

We will make it out alive
There's a note in the pages of the book
So Sleep tonight,
We'll sleep dreamlessly this time
When we awake we'll know that everything's alright
And sing to me about the end of the world
End of these hammers and needles for you
Hold on to the world we all remember fighting for,
There's still strength left in us yet
Hold on to the world we all remember dying for,
There's still hope left in it yet
The snow on your face, and your razor blades
The twilight is bruised and there you lie
And sing to me, about the end of the world
End of these hammers and needles for you
We'll cry tonight, but in the morning we are new
Stand in the sun, we'll dry your eyes
Hold on to the world we all remember fighting for,
There's still strength left in us yet
Hold on to the world we all remember dying for,
There's still hope left in it yet
And sing
Sing
Arise
Arise and be,
all the you dreamed, all that you dreamed
Arise and be,
all the you dreamed, all that you dreamed
Arise and be,
all the you dreamed, all that you dreamed
Arise and be,
all the you dreamed, all that you dreamed

"Hold on to the world we all remember fighting for."
-M

Medicate.

For the first time in a long time, it is okay for me to sit around the house in my pajamas, eating cereal and watching King of the Hill. That's normal. I have all week off for Thanksgiving and it is really nice. Saturday Keith, Amy, Robert and I went to watch Allen play at the new Dallas Cowboys Stadium and I swear it was like we died and went to heaven. The screen is seriously bigger than my Mom's house! Sadly, Allen lost 34 to 35 at double overtime, but it was probably the funnest football game I've ever been to. Than Sunday we had a family reunion, which was fun. The drive from there back home is just really exhausting. I slept in until 10:00 yesterday and I didn't even stay up all that late.
Today, I am sitting around watching videos and trying to upload videos. ER comes on in a minute, so I'm gonna have to sit down in watch it. I might go to my Dad's and convince him to let me buy a new book and the latest issue of Inked. Pretty every one has it now except me.
I've been in better moods lately. This week I don't really have to worry about my friends and taking care of them. It's me time. I can sit at home and blare AFI as loud as possible and write Battle for the Sun. Yay! Two of my favorite things!
Perfecting this story has been insane for me because it is unlike anything else I've ever written. I'm really having to "do my research" on Ryan and Chester as two people. So, I have to sit down and watch their interviews and watch them interact. It's actually fun, it's just a little bit frustrating when I don't get any new material.
This blog is way too long, and way too pointless.
-M
P.S. Sorry for missing Foto Friday last week! I promise the one for this week will be up!

Have We Lost?

I haven't felt the weight of the world on my shoulders like this in a long time. There is just so much drama. Last evening I couldn't help but ask my mom 'why does God make life so rough?'. That's Christian for "I'm losing my faith in humanity". Life is still changing. I thought we were done with that. So, half of the people in my life I honestly don't want to deal with anymore. It hurts, but it is ever so true. Than those other people I've realized I cannot live without are really my everything. People like Andrea, Alex, Allison and Delaney. Let's face it, life sucks.
Well, that's enough of my babbling. Alex, Andrea and I are going to see New Moon tomorrow after the early release. Hopefully that's fun. Nah, everything we do is always pretty damn fun.
-M

Foto Friday

Yet another one of the new photos of Amy Lee that has surfaced on the internet including Evanescence's official Myspace page. Amy is still a beautiful young woman and I've missed that devious little smirk of hers.


One of those pictures that's here to remind of the fact that I do not have a boyfriend.


The lovely Jenicka and her insanely lovely magazine that has a nearly shirtless Chester on the cover!


Since last night's episode, I have grown to love Damon more than I did before. Seriously, tears in his eyes? Everyone knows that I have a thing for a guy that can cry so... Yay!!!


I miss me some John LeCompt. (We Are) The Fallen might not be Evanescence, but I have missed those boys. Mainly John and Rocky, not Ben. Ben's an ass. If it included Will I would insanely happy. I miss him!


Brick By Boring Brick is one of my favorite songs on Brand New Eyes, and I am excited about this new video! Now Hayley's blonde hair is growing on me...


Pretty scary, huh? Yeah, we found this guy in the Newspaper today. We call him Creepy Man. He gives Blake nightmares. And when we print off pictures of Creepy Man it makes Blake want to kill us. So, Creepy Man is now an official, copywritten Newspaper joke. Be disturbed by Creepy Man!

Well, that's it for this week. Now I'm off to go and write some Battle for the Sun. Go me!

-M

The Past Few Months..

Ever since August 9th, life has been a completely different place. Mostly in negative ways, but I guess a few positive. The only reason I'm blogging this evening is because I've had an epiphany. Since that night, the littlest things have really kept me sane. Like sitting down and watching a movie with Andrea, or staying up late talking with All, writing, reading a new book, music in general, like Out of Ashes, Brand New Eyes, hearing Billy say new dates are coming out soon, little moments with that special someone and hearing about How the Edge Stole Christmas. I've decided that July was the best month all year and December will be a close second. August was the worst, and some of you know how I feel about November.
Well, today was a crappy day (mostly) but at least I have something to look forward to in the future. <3
-M

(Belated) Foto Friday

I am in fact a hopeless fan of Damon Salvatore and I do in fact watch The Vampire Diaries every Thursday at 7:00 on the CW. So I guess you could say, I'm one of those vampire freaks.


This new picture reminds me of one thing that I've known for years but I haven't said it in a while: Amy lee is a goddess.


I can't remember where I came across this one, but I thought something about it was adorable.


I wish that was mine. <3


You have no idea how excited I am for the new Mudvayne record.


All sent this picture to me and I dunno what it is, but it is amazing.


This is Maria Erna's profile picture on Twitter (yay! the Godsmack clan is using the internet!) and I loved it. It made me think of Patrick and myself when we're older. : )

Well, that's it for this week folks. Tune in next Friday for more pictures.

-M

Foto Friday

This is my new thing. 7 pictures every Friday that I have discovered in the past week!


I need an Oliver to my Bliss. <3


Kris tweeted this the other day and I just had to put it up because it made me smile.


This is the first picture I have seen of Amy in a long time, and it has to be one of my favorite recent ones. Can't wait for Muppets Revisited!


Heath and his stripes. <3


I love home.


I found this and I DIED.


..Of course!

And how about an extra for good luck?


Has Rob Bourdon ever been this sexy? Have I ever even called him sexy? NO! That says it all!

Well, it is way too late.

-M

P.S. Some of the pictures might now show entirely on some computer. If not, just click on it to the get full effect. ;) Now, seriously, I'm going to bed.

Come Undone.

I'm in a very 'eh.' mood right now. Nothing big, I'm just a little frustrated. My Dad and I are doing some of my back to school shopping but we're only getting the stuff I have to have. So 2 pairs of jeans, socks, undies (ha) and possibly a hoodie. No tees? What the heck!?
All and I haven't been talking much lately, she thinks its because Google is being a retard. I'm not sure what it is.
School starts on Monday and it's really stressing me out big time. I don't really miss my friends, either. Is that bad? And I don't think that I'm gonna finish that stupid friggin book in time. I seriously want to send a complaint to the staff for making me read what is officially the worst book I've ever read in all my years. They're gonna kill me if I don't finish it this weekend, but whatever happens, happens. I'm still trying to get transfered from Art to Theater but I don't think its gonna happen now. I'm gonna suck, but at least I'm gonna have one class with Delaney. Love her!
I think it's time to go. Get my mind off of everything.
-M

Letting the Cables Sleep.

I know, I know, haven't posted in five days. I've been a little busy lately. I'm a lot better than I was but it still is kinda there in the back of my head. But, I've made progress for sure. Let's see, what have I done these past 5 days?
I came home from Memphis on the 10th (what day was that, I dunno) as fast as I could. It's kinda tough to rush home when it takes 8 hours to get there. Well, I guess you could say that's what I was doing in my mind. I miss Memphis, it was a lot of fun. I think if I go again I'll have more fun because my mind isn't drifting off to other issues at hand other than having fun. Did I have fun? Yeah. It just kinda ended on a sour note.
I've been sleeping much better these past two nights. For a while there I had I guess what you could consider insomnia. Than again, I guess it was my choosing. I didn't want to go to sleep because I knew I would cry because my mind is just recollecting every little detail and playing it over and over again. It doesn't let me rest right. So what's the point in trying if I can't feel peaceful? Like on my last night in Memphis I got between 5 and 6 hours of sleep total. That's been a lot better now though. Thank God. I try my best to go to bed really tired. How is that gonna work when it's time to go back to class?
I went to Nataly's last night and had a good time. I haven't seen her in forever. We rented 17 Again. That was actually a pretty good movie, believe it or not.
ER has definitely been a huge help in my ignoring the troubles in life. Yeah, a friggin TV show. Sad, but true. The episode this morning ('Such Sweet Sorrow') was indeed sweet sorrow. I felt like tearing when Carter rushes to the restroom, locks the door and cries. But at the end when Carol goes back to Doug I couldn't help but smile. I can't wait for the season finale on Monday ('May Day') because it is my favorite of all time. Not too mention I'm a sucker for an actor who can cry. Even if he didn't, I would swoon over Noah Wyle anyway.
Patrick's currently getting a red Mohawk like Chad Gray, it's gonna be sick. I can't wait to see it when he gets home. Than tonight I'm probably gonna go to Andrea's because my mom is going out to dinner with her boyfriend or something so I have to find a place to go. That's me forcing myself on people. Ha ha ha.
Well, I better go. This is getting annoying and too lengthy.
-M

The Times They Are A Changin.

I'm in Memphis until tomorrow afternoon and have had a really good time. I've never been, but it's a lot of fun. We went to Graceland where the King of Rock & Roll drew his last breath, Sun Studios where Johnny Cash had the side door in the alley slammed in his face, and in this very hotel room I got some news that will change my life. And not in a positive way. The shock still hasn't gone away. I don't think it will anytime soon. I'm having one of those Juno moments where I just wanna say that I need to know if two people can be together forever. I've never really seen that with my own eyes. I hoped and prayed that I would, but I guess not. I've watched this too many times, I don't want to again. But, I have to. I will remember this in the future. I'm not young like I was last time, I'm a part of this. I'm here for support, I guess. I'm losing and gaining a lot here. I'm gonna miss what I'm losing. Especially because I know that lost thing cares about me. It wants me to be taken care of. I miss that. I miss that so much. I'm regaining a lot of what has been lost. Knowing someone's relying on me, compassion, someone to catch me when I fall and having someone to catch. It's been awhile. Oh boy, has it been awhile.
-M

The Clock Is Ticking By.

It is 10:48. As of now I probably won't see ER. Not to mention I'll be totally confused. Ha ha.
I'm about to head to Mom's and clean up since I don't have any clean clothes and probably smell like a rockstar on their bus. Even though all of the rockstars I've hugged smelt awesome... But anyway, I seriously need to clean up.
Allison and I are officially writing a collaboration story. It is the House and ER fandom. So far, it's going really well. I've never written a collaboration before, so this should be fun. Well, one with someone that you see personally doesn't count. Andrea and I can just sit in a room together until 5 in the morning and write. I am such a Joker nerd.
Anyway, I best go. This is about to get annoying. I can tell.
-M

Be Still My Heart.

Sorry if the video looks messed up on my page, it doesn't look like that on the original link. This episode is one of the best ER has ever had. It was such a shock to everyone on that Thursday night. So much went unexplained. I was shocked when I found out it happened. I favored Carter even back before I was a true fan. My mom watched them on occasion last summer and I knew I liked him. Now I love him.

ER, Sully Erna and Movies. I Could Get Used To This.

Be Still My Heart is one of the most well knowns episodes of ER. Also known as the Valentine's Day episode where Carter and Lucy get stabbed. I had yet to see the entire episode, other than the ending. Being such a die hard fan of Dr. John Truman Carter III, (bet you didn't know that!) I had to watch it. And it made that footage on YouTube look like a piece of crap. And it already was. My jaw dropped, and I still had to wrap my head around it ten minutes later when I was putting away dishes and listening to Daath with my brother. That music they're blaring at the Valentine's Day party is still echoing in my ears. Which is saying a lot, because Daath is hard stuff. Noah Wyle has done it to me again!
Today I finally got some new music on the iPod and let me tell ya, Sully Erna is still sexy. The man has reached the age of 41 and is still rockin' it hard. Their new single, Whiskey Hangover is a piece of kick ass metal that just makes me want to do the classic "YEAH!" that he always does. I originally wasn't very happy with the song because I thought it sounded like they wrote it in like 5 minutes. Slowly, but surely, I found it addictive. Not just because I'm in love with the singer. It would be a little easier if I fancied Shannon. I think he's cute (sometimes) but not anymore. He's cute half the time. Like on the Changes DVD when he had black hair? That was great!
This evening my friend Sarah and I went to the movies. The first plan was going to see G-Force but I talked to her out of it. It looks like a total piece of crap to me. So we decided on The Proposal. It was hilarious. I liked it a lot. I've missed going to the movies all the time. And I don't just mean going to see my favorite films up to 8 times (thanks Heath!) but going to see new flicks. Ya know? The Time Traveler's Wife is next on my list.
I'm watching The Nanny and I freakin' love it. Fran is still awesome. Every time I see the episode with the imaginary friend where Fran and Mr. Sheffield do CPR I die.
I'm doin' okay with my whiskey hangover...
-M

New (School) Year Resolution

1. Get over that person that I can never have.
2. Be in the same room as Maynard James Keenan.
3. Find a guy that's worth it.
4. Kick a certain person that I can't stand out of my life.
5. Star babysitting to make extra money.
6. Buy Brand New Eyes by Paramore.
7. BUY OUT OF ASHES. YOU MUST BUY OUT OF ASHES.
8. Finally learn to play the guitar.
9. Dress a bit girlier. No, not girly. More feminine.
10. Make my room look cooler.

A lot of these are really dumb and stupid. Half of them (prepare for the negative Nancy) probably aren't going to happen. The little things that just make life a lot better will (hopefully) happen. Like Out of Ashes is going to make me a very happy camper for at least an entire month. Hopefully Brand New Eyes will do the same. Which is insane, because they both are coming out very close together. So that's gonna be what, two months? Sweet! A lot of these wishes are just me being a girl with a heart, a teenager, a music fan, a dedicated fan girl, a controlling adult and human.
When I say girl with a heart, I'm talking mainly about the first one. I do have a heart, but I don't want to feel the feelings that I feel. I never have in this situation. I don't want to care. Sad, but true.
These days in the world of Maynard James Keenan, I never know what to expect. Not just personality wise, but musically. There is always that fear of when Tool is gonna be over. Same with A Perfect Circle. I didn't get to go to the Tool concert with Patrick last weekend, but apparently Puscifer is playing "a bunch of shows in Texas" this fall. I don't want to pass up that opportunity. Will I meet him? Psh, do you know anything about this guy?
Anyway, I don't really want to explain the rest. This was really quite stupid. I apologize for boring you to death.
-M

Pretend This is Coraline's Door.

Hello, as you can see this blog has just appeared out of nowhere. I originally had one of these doobly-doos a few years ago (total Star Wars nerd-don't ask) and never ever use it anymore. That's a long story. Anyway, I know a few different people that have one of these now, so I decided to get one of my own. And I'm gonna manage it differently than I managed that first blog, ha ha. I don't have anything witty or meaningful to say at the moment, so prepare for some boredom.
I am now done house sitting for my Uncle. Well, for a few days. They're heading back down to Chicago on Thursday. I'm not sure if I'm gonna help out this time. This time around, I would show up for an afternoon, be driven home, than come back than do it all again. We just don't have the money to do something like that. And Destiny wants me to hang out with her on Friday, I told her we would. But, I act like I just got home from a road trip, even though I didn't. Yes, Nick & Pam have cats but they aren't my cats. Although one of them gave me my cats. Ha ha. Either way, its like a friggin' barn there. Three cats and two dogs? Good Lord!
At the moment I'm watching a marathon of Jon & Kate Plus 8. I have many opinions about this show and I think one of these dayz I'm gonna post something about it. I'm a new comer to the popular television series, so I might just need to get used to it first. I do like it a lot though. By the way, at some point when I'm willing to get off my lazy ass, I will sit down and watch LA Ink for the first time.
ER this morning was great, as always. So, I managed to snag my Uncle's laptop away and read some fanfiction that I haven't felt the need to look over since the last update. Not too mention that anything Draco Malfoy will get in the way somehow. Hrm... Draco vs. Carter... The all mighty episode "Be Still My Heart" is coming on tomorrow and if I miss it I just might get stabbed with a butcher knife two times. I am still in love with Dr. John Carter and that isn't going to change. I could write an entire novel about what attracts me to him but you don't care about that. Do you?
Andrea is coming home from Puerto Rico tomorrow and I will admit, I'm pretty damn excited. Don't worry, I don't curse this much in the real world. I'm not sure what time she's getting back, we haven't spoken in a few days. I plan on hanging out with Sarah tomorrow (I seriously haven't seen this girl in 3 years but we live in the same neighborhood-what's the deal!?) if it works out. But, if it doesn't I am for sure giving Harley a call and making sure that we reunite as soon as humanly thought possible.
I've been in the mood for some Heath lately and I'm not sure why. No, I'm not talking about the chocolate. You know who I'm talking about. It's probably because 10 Things I Hate About You was on Starz the other day. I didn't watch all of it, Amy was just channel surfing and Andrea and I want to watch that movie together because I've never seen it all. I did make sure that I didn't miss one of the most memorable moments of Heath's career. The scene were he's singing "Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You" on the soccer field. I've seen it many times, and still love it. Not only that, but Brokeback Mountain was on yesterday. Like most of the time, I only got to catch the ending. After Jack's dead. Love me some Jack Nasty. But, I haven't seen any of the movie in over a month. I always joke that it comes on every 3 weeks and it's always when Prosthetic is playing a show. Which is the majority of the time, true. This time, it hit me hard. It hasn't done that since the first time that I watched it. I'm sitting there in the dark, sunk into my couch, trying my best not to tear up and failing. Every time that I see Ennis standing in the back of that trailer, breathing in Jack's shirt, it gets me. Very similar to the first time, I'm sitting there in the day light, sunk into my Uncle's couch, trying my best not to tear up and failing. A single tear slipped down my cheek. What that man can do to me.
Well, I have to go and unload the dish washer (I'm such a bum) for my mom. Might as well get it over with. I say that, it's gonna take me a few minutes to get up and actually do it.
Learn anything new about me today?
-M